“You’re gaining weight”, said a well-meaning uncle of mine during one of our annual family dinner parties. This came after I was rushed to the hospital a couple of months ago for what was supposed to be a horrible relapse. I had to be prescribed high dosages of steroids because even the most expensive injections weren’t helping my case this time around. Piling on some kilos was inevitable.
For the longest time in my life, I have been a conventionally thin girl. Although I’ve never set foot in a gym in my entire existence, I have had a decent metabolism, a word that most people hate to hear. However, intermittent steroids doses coupled with a rather sedentary lifestyle meant that I lost what was once ‘body goals’ for a lot of my friends.
Long-term medication for pain and joint damage alters your mood in several ways. It makes you want to accomplish a huge set of goals one day and forces you to fuck everything, cry and jump right into a massive jar of Nutella the next. I am in no way obese. I am probably a few kilos heavier than I used to be. To put it in simple words, I have gone from being a skinny girl to a normal-sized woman with curves and a little muffin top.
I blame myself sometimes. Maybe I could exercise more. Maybe I should start skipping meals. And when I mull over the reasons that led me to this blaming cycle and pardon myself, I am made to feel guilty about it by others.
What I find fascinating is just how brilliantly Selena tackles this kind of criticism and scrutiny. She has been brave enough to speak about her battle publicly and has actively contributed to Lupus research. She has advocated for body positivity on several occasions and has even been vocal about seeking mental health treatment.
I often consider myself lucky for not being a public figure because having every bit of your physical appearance and personal life under the scanner is a harrowing experience that I cannot even fully imagine. And if you add being a young woman with a rare disease to the mix, things get a lot worse.
Source : https://www.buzzfeed.com/suebhatt/how-selena-gomezs-public-battle-with-illness-helps-me-fight